Dan and I decided that most times it was hindsight that enabled us to see spiritual growth. After the clouds cleared, the murky thoughts and awful feelings subsided or were distanced with some time we could see growth. Emotions were not so painfully raw when we were not in the grips of one of lifes " pull the rug out from under your feet and make an angry buffalo sit on your chest" type times.
We have had plenty of joyful occasions, celebrations, memories both monumental and small. But to truly reflect for this study; honesty was required and acknowledgement of trials and tribulations was necessary. Our life has truly been altered with quite a few deaths of people very close to us, near deaths and long recoveries for still more people we love deeply and an array of other unexpected detours and derailments that won't fit in a blog post. Despite thse things, we have had a great life, and the word that describes our marriage best is perseverance, in fact we have matching tattoos that say just that.
While we talked, we realized that there was only one time for each of us that we were aware our faith was growing during a particularly difficult life situation, and for each of us it was during a different event. When you have been with your life partner for 25 years, I would bet the majority of couples will have faced much adversity and many difficult times. Those who say otherwise, I would venture to guess are lying. They may not be straightforward lying of the purposeful type, maybe they just choose to keep it to themselves, even when sharing could help someone else in a similar situation.
That nagging question at the end that refered to a Bible verse about counting it " all joy" ( see end of blog post) stared us in the face for a long time. What would it take to count it ALL joy? I began to answer that the things that happened solely to ME, I could count for joy because something good has or is coming from it. But when it comes to the suffering of others, I didn't have an answer. Dan teases me often because when someone says " open your Bible to..." Many times it is a verse I have already underlined, circled, highlighted, or put a heart by. It had already happened twice in this Bible study...and it's my new Bible, it doesn't have near the markings as my older ones. Frankly, it kind of creeps him and our kids out.
Finally, I said " to be honest, it would probably take a redefinition of joy, maybe if it meant grace instead of extreme happiness.." He nodded in agreement. So I decided to do a search to see where the word joy came from. Using the Strong concordance; not surprisingly it is said to be Greek and derived from rejoice. However, in this translation of the word: it means leaning toward; to be conscious for God's grace. I usually don't believe that God compromises to make my thoughts or feelings align with his. This was no coincidence: God is meeting me where I am in my faith walk. Certainly, When others are in the trenches of one of life's many throws I am not joyful for them, but I do pray steadfastly that even a fleeting moment of grace will fall upon them like a snowflake and stick to them like super glue.
James 1:2-3King James Version (KJV)
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
